I'm tired of hurting

I allow myself to cry.  Sometimes it's ok to let that all out.  I allow myself to get angry. it's ok to feel defeat as long as you get back up.  Mostly I try to live in denial,  my legs don't work well so I compensate, my arms are getting weak now, hmmmm I will have to figure that one out soon.  Its Sunday morning, my heart wanted to go so badly to church with my family...my body is failing me .  My heart and soul are weakening to this disease...I cant give up. I must push through this, by babies need their mom, my sweet husband needs his wife.  But I am just tired.  I'm so tired of hurting. Jesus take the wheel this week....I need you to carry me awhile....

Martha, you are a bitch and I hate you so much