There are posts I write but don't publish, my last post you don't get to read I was ANGRY...Some things are better not shared.... Luckily those moments don't last long but they are hard days to overcome. It is so important that I stay positive, to not let Martha steal my joy.
I have struggled lately with my strength, it's hard to go up and down stairs, and my arms are starting to get weak as well, This has worried me as well, I have fared well with weak legs but I worry about how I am going to deal with my upper body not functioning. I would classify this like having MS. It's not, but I get how they feel. Not being able to go up and down stairs or chairs or cars, It can really knock you down, literally and figuratively. My skin is like paper thin these last few months, I just hit my skin wrong and the top layer peels and becomes a sore, sigh. I have found gloves that are supposed to help arthritis but it also covers my hands from brushing up on anything and peeling....so I have my joy in my family and kids I watch every day. They all get me out of bed and make me do life without feeling sorry for myself. They make me laugh and see the awesome things in everyday life!!
I did allow Martha to get me a little yesterday. My son had his first competition in band and I used to go to the whole event, it's all day but yesterday I couldn't. I drove just to watch his performance then came home, in tears. Even if I did decide to stay the sun was direct on the stands, even if I made it up the bleachers the sun would of destroyed my skin, and the sweat would of been obnoxious, i would turn red as a beat....If my son wanted me there the whole time I would of, but I know it was enough for me to drive and see him. I would NOT let Martha take me watching him away. She is slowly taking over my body but she will not take my family.
